Unemployement Awaits

"I don't want to get off this plane..." I knew that the second I stepped out, I would be all alone in a strange place. Hours went by, as I explained to the passenger next to me the motives behind my decision to work and live in Japan for a year. She didn't quite understand. I didn't either, but the feeling of the unknown excited me and scared me at the same time. As the plane approached the ground 12 hours after leaving everything I had ever known, I took a deep breath and tried to reassure myself. I've had gone this far. There was no way back. There was no time for regrets. I needed to get prepared for the consequences of my decision. I grabbed my bags and made my way out of the plane to feel the hot humid air that had the smell of tribulation and opportunity.

Its been a year today since I was first walking the streets of my new neighbourhood. I clearly remember wondering if I would ever be capable of getting through a year in a place that felt so distant from home. I never thought I would say this, but I feel comfortable here and the thought of coming back home is scarier than what I felt a year ago in that airplane.

I extended my contract with Agora and I'll be back in Canada on December 6th, in time to celebrate Christmas with my family. I was lucky to be able to work for a private company that allowed me to extend for any period of time. I know that if I extended any longer, it would be even harder get back home. I have a life here, a job and great friends. There is no reason for me to come back, but this experience has given me the confidence to do something greater with my life and that "something" won't be in Japan. So the big plan is to come back home, sit on my mom's couch for a month and relax, then visit friends and family around the holiday season. In January, I'm starting school at Ryerson and hopefully by the end of the session I will have a job. If not, im travelling through Europe to see Heidi in Spain and Diane in England.

This is all I've got for now. I will try and write more at a later time. It's been a long time since my last posting. I hope everyone is doing well!

I'm now going to the center of town to purchase my plane ticket to Canada.

e.

Too little, too late? Opt for a second chance..

Hello everyone!!

remember me?

maybe you do from the last entry in this blog I wrote almost 2 months ago... shame on me.

But between having internet troubles, my brother and my mother coming, a new roomate and all the travelling, I hope y'all can understand that I didn't have time to update this blog much. So many things have been happening and I really dont know where to begin, so I thought of compilling all of my best pictures of where I have been and what I have seen in the last 2 months... starting with when my brother was in Japan.

Here goes...

My brother came at the end of April, right in time for Cherry Blossom season (yes , I know that I stopped writing my blog weeks before the last week of April. Just don't tell anyone.) My brother went wild going around Fukushima and capturing the best sceneries framed by the beautiful trees.

On his first day of jet lag, he joined me at school with my kindergarten class and saw how precious my kids were. It was strange to have him at work with me and have him see me interact with the kids. I feel like I have gone such a long way, from not knowing what the hell I was doing to actually having complete control.

Merely a few hours after arriving in Fukushima, Jordan and I ventured on our first week-end in Tokyo together. Saturday was reserved for traditional Tokyo where we visited the Senso-ji temple in Asakusa and lounged the Sumida river. Then later that night we partied for the very first time together on Roppongi... end of story.

This is only my first entry of many, since I have to pause now and get ready for work, but I promise to continue updating. Please don't give up on me!

lots of love and kisses, e.

Sending out an S.O.S.

We are the luckiest people on earth, yet we take so much for granted. I am the first one to admit it. Personally, I feel like I have with my family, my friends and their gratuitus acts that I never really questionned. What they did for me always seemed normal. Just say thank you, and everything is all good.

I have just watched two incredible films, The Constant Gardener and Hotel Rwanda, and it reminded me that there are many people who don't even get the opportunity to say thank you. Most of this world's population can't count on anyone and has no choice but to fight for themselves on their own. In many countries, all they want is to live.. is that so much to ask for?

Sure it's easy to sound concerned and it is so easy to discuss about the world's inequalities... I am not the only one to feel this way, but have we done anything? It is easier said then done, but for now let's do what we can with the people around us: become a supportive ear, give without expecting anything in return, smile to the people around you, make them feel worthy. This is such a small step to what the rest of the world really need, but it is also these little things that pay off at the end.

I really wish I could make a difference, and maybe we all are in a way. We just can't forget of the ones that need the most help. I would love to give a hand where it is the most needed... I am tired of being one of these people who say "that is too bad," turn off their TV sets and go have dinner as if nothing happened. Sadly enough, there are so many worthy causes out there, so many to choose from, so many people in need. It can't be that hard to make a bigger difference. Anyone game?

Precious Little Things

I have never imagined that one day I would work with children, become their teacher or their mentor. I never thought I had it in me. I knew about other people who did it as a living, but I never really was interested in doing their jobs or know about it. It always sounded like hard work, a stressful and messy job. Having snot all over my shirt, or getting sick every few weeks, just didnt seem like much fun. I also couldnt imagine myself being on all fours playing with ABC blocs with children and reading them Goldilocks and the Three Bears . That is what stressed me the most before starting this job. I have always known myself to be a tolerant and patient person, and I knew that this experience would challenge these qualities and it has. It is a hard job, but surprisingly enough these kids have also been the best part of my Japanese experience.

This job is not easy. I have to be at work by 8:45 to greet my kindergarten kids with a big smile and a heartfelt "Good morning." I am not a terrible morning person, but it is not like I feel like beeing bubbly and peppy every morning. I have to play with these kids and have small talks with them all in English until the "morning circle", where the teacher in charge gives a little 30 minute lesson. The lesson usually consists of the ABCs, numbers, weather, months, days of the week, colours, body parts, I teach them a little French, we sing songs, we dance with them... its like giving a little performance everyday. Of course, I have my off days when I just can't get them to focus or get them to listen. Anyway, no matter how difficult this job is, I can't start by explaining how precious these kids are. I knew they were great kids, but now I am really starting to get attached to them.

Their graduation is coming soon. 4 of them are moving on to elementary and some kids are deciding to switch to a Japanese kindergarten. I am really sad to see them leave. Even the ones that I didn't really like at first are now maybe the ones I don't want to see leaving the most. You know, the snotty, grabby, needy, naughty ones... they have grown on me and I have grown on them. The relationship I have with these kids is like nothing I have ever had before. I have seen them grow, evolve and mature a great deal in my first 6 months. They all have such great personalities and it is fun to think of the kinds of people they will become when they are all grown up. Many of them are extremly intelligent, some are sensitive, some need more attention then others and some are incredibly creative. They all have this special quality about them.

I think that it will be very hard when I leave and say goodbye to all of them. There is this one little girl and her name is Kano. She is 6 with the biggest heart. We have been practicing this song for graduation called "Thank You and Goodbye." It is all about being friends forever even though we have to say goodbye. The first time we practiced it, with her little English she just said "This is so sad," and started to cry. I couldnt believe how beautiful that was. This same little girl she always tells me how she likes me and others tell me "I look cool". I just love them so much, they are just so precious. Especially the boys that point to my breast and ask me "what is this?" and I answer, "a shirt silly!" Oh precious, they are.

When I started out, my mom told me that this could be good practice for when I have my own children... and well, although I am totally in love with these children, it still hasnt really convinced me on having my own. At first, I knew I wanted children and then I went through a phase of "what gives... I'll never meet anyone to give me kids anyway," and now I guess I am not all that interested in having my own and taking care of other people's kids is well enough for now. I guess you can never know for sure about these things. It will all come in time.

Anyway here are a few pictures of my kids:

And this is the kindergarten class:

Here are two pictures that I stole from the Agora website of me teaching my other classes with my elementary students.





So today is St Patrick's day and I am not doing much about it other then wearing green. I told my students about St Patrick's day without the mention of heavy partying and green beer. They were all excited when I asked who was wearing green and went all the way to showing me the green on their underwear to tell me that they were also celebrating St Patrick's day.

When I got home tonight, I put on my sweats and put on In America, about an Irish family starting their lives from scratch in New York City. A sort of modern day Angela's Ashes.... So that is how I celebrated St Patrick's day. Go Irish! It is impossible to fully celebrate western holidays in this country.

Now I am just killing time before going to Diane's for a French dinner. My boss got me a real French baguette from a bakery near his house and so we have been trying to build up a meal around the idea of the baguette. Diane is a great cook so I am sure it will all be good, topped with some french wine and pastries provided by your truly. Yes, I am hungry...

I don't quite know what I will be doing this week-end. I know that I am going to a birthday dinner tomorrow night for my friends Ayako and Keita. Its going to be a little pricy, but will be better then staying at home still breathing carosene fumes and wasting time browsing the net. Either way, its becoming a habit to go to a dinner party on saturday nights.

I am so hungry.

Please take care and think of the children. :)
love you all,
e.

What Not to Wear

Women in kimonos, men wearing glittery pink t-shirts, teenagers wearing their uniforms on sundays, extreme mini-skirts, hooker boots, mullets, fluffy hair accessories, long johns under skirts... Other than the traditional wear, fashion here is an eye soar! Although Japan is known to be ahead in the fashion world, they should have stuck with kimonos and wooden sandals. Almost every girl dresses like Britney Spears "Hit me Baby one More Time" circa, wear mini skirts at -10 tempatures and insists on permed mullets. Anyway, to be fashionable in Japan you need to be colour blind and trapped in the 80s.

I wouldnt call myself a fashion guru in any stretch of the word, but I have had to tone down my fashion not only for being a foreigner, but also for being a teacher. Not only can I not follow the fashion here, but I needed to put aside a few garments that I have learned not to wear in this country. There is an unwritten rule that low cut shirts and tank tops should not be worn. Even though I have never seen SO MANY mini-skirts, showing cleavage here is a definite no-no. I don't mind covering up, but I have had to put aside a few shirts that I couldnt even dare myself to wear anymore. I get enough attention already as it is, I wouldnt want to shock my neighbours with a (God forbid) tank top! I am happy I loaded up on t-shirts and hoodies at Roots, because that is all I have been wearing in the last 6 months.

I feel like a nun every morning when I get ready to go to work. Not that I used to dress like a total slut at home, but I miss the times I would feel really sexy sporting a new pink tank top with a new pair of earings. Here, I wear pearls with a grey turtle neck... nice. I want to feel like a girl again!

So why am I ranting about Japanese fashion and my sudden fashion turnover... well, one of my students told one of my teacher friends that Agora must be making a lot of business from men because of my low cut shirts. My what? Appearantly, the men that come to my English classes on Thursday mornings at the community center come to look at my cleavage. My what? Yes... appearantly, I have breasts. I have never seen them myself, but it would seem that my breasts have been helping my school making good business. Unless they have a lazer vision that let them see through my shirts, I cannot think of a single shirt I have worn at work that could show my perverted students any sort of cleavage.

Remember these wise words, "Lucky that my breasts are small and humble So you don't confuse them with mountains." I stand by Shakira with this, but now it seems that I could be a little bit more shapely then I thought. But is that really something you would like to hear after teaching these people for 6 months. I really didn't need to know this...

No but, honestly... my friend Michelle made it seem like a compliment, but to the contrary I feel totally degraded. To think that my student would actually say that to my friend and believe that my men students come to see the shirts I wear, doesnt exactly make me feel appreciated for being a good teacher. And trust me, I truly believe that my lessons are fun and interesting. I thought they came for my mind-opening lessons and not for the milimeter of skin that I show right below my neck. Are these men so desperate that an ounce of young skin is the only reason to come to my English lessons? I find it rude and demeaning and they can be sure that next week the snow suit will be coming out. Sorry Agora.

The February Blues

I turn on my laptop first thing every morning and set it to listen to my favourite radio station, 102.1 The Edge. Then I hear all of these wonderful concert announcements, some traffic and weather reports from this far off land that I call home. At first, this made me think of the incredible possiblities of technology, and how a simple radio station could so easily transport me to the most basic comforts of home. However, this simple form of escape has not cured me from my homesickness, but maybe made it worse. The bleak month of February is almost over and I hope that the upcoming weeks heading to Spring will make this feeling go away. I often look at maps in my school and travelling destinations on the Internet, and think of all the places I could be with this voice in my head saying "anywhere but here." I am only a few days away from accomplishing my first 6 months and although I feel very proud of this, I should maybe be telling myself "Shit, I only have 6 more months before facing the harsh reality of what I will be doing for the rest of my life." I know that once I go back home, maybe after making up for lost time with my friends and family, it will be time to seriously think about my future. So maybe I should start feeling blessed for being in Japan, not only because it is an experience that only a few people get to do, but also because it is giving me some time to think about these hard questions. But at the same time I am looking forward to start the rest of my life and that feeling is much stronger than wanting to stay in safe Japan for another year. There is a big world out there and it is time for something new.

Oh, look at Eve being so deep... bah...

And I hope that no one will get really offended by this, but the one thing, the one person, I miss the most is my mother. I keep on imagining going out and doing things with her and just talk. I have become so nostalgic living here and thinking back to when I was a little girl and the fun times I would have with my family, but especially with my mom. My only wish after work would be to go to this Greek restaurant on Danforth for some dinner, have a beer along with some greek appetizers and then finish off at this gelato parlour on Bathurst. Wouldn't that be great? as simple as this seems.

Anyway, I just didnt think I would feel homesick before leaving Canada. I am actually really surprised of feeling this way. I have lived away from home four years before. I never knew it would start here. I honestly didnt. But there are also some amazing things here in Japan that I should really consider and embrace. I shouldnt forget about all of the wonderful things this country has to offer me that I couldnt get in canada. Only good things are ahead. I know it.

For starters, Diane and I went to this beautiful place called Matsushima, just 2 hours north from Fukushima. It is considered one of three most beautiful views in Japan. It is along the ocean and is made up of over 200 pine-covered islands.

My girl, Diane and I on the train to Sendai. Just being with her alone is an awsome retreat, being with her in Matsushima was a delight.

Some oysters fishing boats facing the beautiful Matsushima sea.

The Godai-dou Hall, a wooden shrine that is only opened once every 33 years, next time being in 2006! Need to look into that.

Beautiful Matsushima.

House perched over a cliff facing Matsuhima. It must be quite the view all day everyday.

Mountains of empty oyster shells.

Savouring our oyster lunch with a bottle of Asahi beer.

The red bridge, view from the Godai-dou temple.

I like this picture I took from the steps of the shrine.

Man inducing Diane to try some cow tongue, "Mam, it is popular in Japan."

Plastic display of a cooked cow tongue.

The real deal... I tried it because I was basically given a piece as I was looking over what he was cooking. I wasnt even quite sure if it was cow tongue, but I have to say that it wasnt bad. A little chewy with a strange soft texture, but overall good tasting.

On our way back home we decided to stop in Sendai to have a few drinks, which turned into 2 bottles of wine and a meeting with this 50 year old American University teacher working in Japan for over 12 years. He was trying to convince us that Japanese people were racists. Maybe he should be a little bit more worried about the racism problems in his own country, before pointing the finger to Japanese people. It is just recently that Japan has opened its borders to other nationalities. After living in Japan for a few months, I know that people stare at you out of pure uncontrollable curiosity and not because they don't like you. If they do criticize foreigners that is because they have unfortunatly been meeting lousy foreigners, or simply because they havent been in contact with enough of us to really understand. They have nothing to be racist about, they dont know anything about us. I think there are 50 foreigners in Fukushima and I take no offence when people stare at me or say tiny little comments about me. I just thought all along that if Japan starts becoming racist, it would be because of people like him who is bringing these negative beliefs in such a peaceful nation. I think it would awake a needless debate and give the Japanese some ideas about a problem that doesnt even really exist. Its like putting fuel to a small fire. He is starting off a debate in a country that doesnt know how to deal with such an issue because, there you go: racism doesnt exist here.

The month of March is right around the corner and then before I know it it will be April. Yippee! My brother is coming, then my mom and Rachel will be living here with me until September. I think I am just tired of being alone and it will be nice to have some familiar faces here. I just cant wait to show them my Japanese world, my life here in Fukushima, my work and live some new japanese experiences with them.

Take care to all of you, I miss you and love you dearly! Just another 6 months before my return home.

e.

Tokyo Zoo

Flashy blinding neon lights, the sound of blaring music and sales people screaming out of their megaphones, people people people... and more people. Being in Tokyo for less then two days was enough for me to realize that I have been stuck in my small town of Fukushima for waaayyy too long. My ears were still ringing as I was getting off the 90 minute shinkansen ride. Why did I wait so long? And when is my next invitation?

At first, I was going to go to Tokyo by bus, because it was much cheaper. I have been trying very hard to save money for when my family comes to visit. However, I was too late to reserve my bus tickets and every bus was sold out. But after much persuasion from my friend Donna, I gave in and decided to leave on Saturday morning with her sister and her boyfriend who were visiting from Australia.

After spending $160 on a 2 day trip to Tokyo, this had to be worth it! The train ride was somewhat of a drag, since both Donna's sister, Becky, and her boyrfiend, Ben, were not the most exciting couple. I was also very surprised and dissapointed by the way they reacted when they initially stepped into the streets of Tokyo. They didn't seem impressed or interested one bit! Meanwhile, I didn't know where to look, I didn't know what to say, I was totally speechless and taken back by all the movement. I was utterly overwhelmed by everything that was happening around me.

Firstly, we had to find their hostel in Shinjuku from the Tokyo metro station. The over usage of arrows in Tokyo train stations would even give Magellan a hard time. I dont know how many times we had to walk in circles before finding the proper metro line. Finally on the subway, I was suprised by how empty the trains were. I always had this image of being shoved in and stuck in between people's smelly armpits. We all had an available seat and once we arrived to our metro destination I think we walked 1/4 accross the Tokyo undergroung system before getting to the proper exit. If people tell you Tokyo is big, please dont be stupid and tell them otherwise. It's like Toronto times eight!

So after dropping off their luggage we walked throughout Shinjuku and decided to go to Yoyogi park for a stroll. My travel book told me that it was an interesting young people hang-out place, but much to my dismay all we could see were old Japanese people taking their afternoon walks and tourists.

Although I was surprised by the serene and calm atmosphere of the park, I think it was a nice breather before diving back into the madness of Tokyo. At our exit, we had to cross this bridge towards Harajuku best known as the goth hang out place where you can find the famous Harajuku girls.

They are accustumed to pose for tourists. so here you are Heidi, your Harajuku girls. Usually there are appearantly more of them and more excentric looking ones, but I guess there was another gothic party elsewhere.

At this point we were headed towards Shibuya crossing, the most crossed intersection in the world! I was amazed to see so many foreigners and hear so much English. Even Japanese people were speaking English between each other. As we were getting closer and closer to Shibuya crossing, the intersections were getting bigger and bigger and more crowded. I was scared to lose Ben and Becky among the crowd. I felt like I was going to a Rolling Stones concert, but this was typical Tokyo. And then there it was, Shibuya crossing... the famous intersection that basically defines Japan in all its glory. It was there, right in front of me and I knew right then and there that I was in Japan. We decided to get a latte at the Starbucks facing the crossing and to go to the second floor to have a better view. It said we were not allowed to take pictures, but I took some anyway. Here are just a few I took incognito.

People waiting to cross...

People starting to cross...

Half-way there...

Largest human obstacle course...

I made it! Ouff!

After shopping in a few stores at Shibuya station it was time to make it back to the hostel and get ready for my big night out on Roppongi Hills.

We left for dinner after watching an hour of olympic curling between Canada and Japan, and some extreme Dodgeball without Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. I had to meet Donna in Roppongi so we had dinner in that area, which is probably the most westernized location in Japan. It was so bizarre. It wasn't Japan, it wasn't America, it was like an international neutral ground where all countries united and partied together. I didnt know what to think, but I felt like I was on another planet away from everything I had ever known!

We went to this chinese restaurant with a promising atmosphere but with shitty food and shitty service. After dinner, we were pressured by these jamaican bouncers to have a cheap drink at a dodgy underground bar. We had time to have a drink there before meeting Donna and her Tokyo friends.

I kinda felt like the fifth wheel during that dinner, but I prefered being single rather then being stuck with someone as lame as these 2 guys. Anyway, Donna and her friends decided to go to the Hard Rock Cafe for some good old American dining. I didn't eat since I had dinner already, but thank god for that, because the small italien salad was nearly $18. Soon after their dinner it was time to hit the sleazy Roppongi bars.

We stayed out the whole evening and the whole night until the sun came up. We had a Turkish Kabob before taking the first morning train to Chiba to crash at one of Donna's friends. At 3pm, we woke up and dreamt of a western breakfast that was impossible to find anywhere on our way back to downtown Tokyo. I had a massive hungover which resulted from mixing way too many alcoholic drinks. I felt like I was runover by a tank, but I was happy not to be the only feeling out of it. We finally hit an Irish Pub for dinner before getting on the Shinkansen back to rural Fukushima.

All that time bar-hopping through Roppongi, I felt like one of these girls on Girls Gone Wild. I am still waiting for this picture of this one bartender shooting out flames from his mouth accross the bar. Unbelievable... Did this all really happen?

I hope this is just one Tokyo experience of many more to come. I am nonetheless very grateful to live in a smaller town away from such madness. It is so quiet here. Before visiting Tokyo I was already criticizing Japan for its unbearable noise pollution and sensory overload, and Fukushima was just a sample of what I experienced this last week-end.

e.

Tokyo Posting Coming Very Soon!

To all of you who are anticipating my posting on my week-end in Tokyo, I promise that it will be up by tomorrow. All I can say right now is, "wow" and why did I have to wait so long to go... Its been two days since my return and I am still recovering. Talk about sensory overload!

Meanwhile, you can always listen to Gogol Bordello's Start Wearing Purple.

Take care for now,
e.