Before throwing myself in this experience, I remember doing some research about other people's experiences in teaching abroad, especially in Japan. Some were positive, but most of them were just filled with criticism about the school they worked for and the culture. I said to myself that I wouldnt be like them because I would feel too blessed of doing anything like this to be complaining. And well, it turns out that I am not any better than these teachers who I have criticized for being too negative or closed minded. My last two entries have not exactly given a good impression of this place where I have been able to rejoice one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I would like to apologize for such negative feedback. I guess it is true, that even for a positive person like myself, the negative side to anything always prevails over the good.

Japan has been great to me so far. My honeymoon months here are over and I guess it has finally hit me that this is not a 2 week vacation but my place of residence for the next year and maybe the next one after that. Home sickness has hit me early. I think of my family and my friends more than anything. I never felt so close to them, being so far away. But I also have made great friends here, deep friendships which I never thought I would be able to make again after the ones I made in Canada. However, because I have such amazing friends at home I have been very picky with the ones I woud meet here. I would not let them in unless they reminded me of the ones i had at home and fortunately I have been lucky to find some that have reached me in ways I never thought was still possible. I think of Diane, Jason, Leslee, Matt, Donna, Rio, Michelle and Jacqueline.

Other than meeting wonderful people, making new friendships, and discovering this beautiful country, Japan has been a soul-searching place for me. I have only been here for two months but this country has changed me and has made me grow quite a bit. I almost feel like a different person. I compare my life in Japan to a retreat where people go to to shut down the rest of the world to be better able to get in touch with themselves and to discover what they want, who they are and where they are going. Each day these three things are becomng clearer in my mind. Sometimes when I wish I was home, I ask myself the question "what would I be doing if I was still in Canada?" And I can see myself living under the safe and comfortable roof of my mom's luxurious apartment, working in a clothing store, going out with my friends on Friday nights, watch movies and just talk about what i want to do about my future without ever doing anything about it. But by being here, Im doing something worthwhile, living a life and an experience that wont equate to anything else I will ever do. All of a sudden, my aspirations have never been so clear, I feel extremly motivated and I am not scared to risk it all for my future. I guess what I am trying to say is that the day I come back home I will know exactly who I am and where I am going, and fight for what I want no matter what it takes. Why settle for less when you know you have the potential to be so much more.